| Miss Manners: Can I ask people in front of me at events to sit down?

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| Miss Manners: Can I ask people in front of me at events to sit down?
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Letter writer hates it when people stand in front of them at seated events.

t get is people who act like it’s no big deal to stand in front of anyone seated. To me, that is the height of inconsideration. They seem to get offended and argue with me — no matter how polite I am — when I ask them to sit. I am beginning to think that what I consider “polite” might not meet someone else’s definition.Questions about who

is being the rudest do not generally appeal to Miss Manners, whose mission is to make everyone more polite, not to keep score.But asking someone to sit down is not inherently rude, so long as you phrase it as a question, not a demand — and can avoid conveying, at the same time, what you think of the offender.I belong to a community group that plays mah-jongg once a week. We are a friendly bunch that welcomes inexperienced players.

Agree upon a system, and tell the newcomers what is expected. Almost any system will do: that newcomers are assigned a partner, are instructed to sit out every other game, or are given the duty of replenishing the snacks. Any of these would give the more experienced players some relief.

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