TEMPLE TERRACE, FL—Feeling the need to get out of his suburban hometown and make a fresh start for himself, local man Gregory Forlano told reporters Tuesday he is seriously considering throwing all his belongings in the back of his car and making the exact same mistakes someplace far away.
The 36-year-old Florida native said that after years feeling dissatisfied with his stale social life, his tedious dead-end job, and the monotony of his daily routine, he is on the verge of severing all ties to his current life in the Tampa area and lapsing into an equally unfulfilling existence for himself in a brand-new city.
“I’ve gotten so used to being unfulfilled here that sometimes I forget there’s a whole wide world out there where I could be equally depressed and joyless.” “I don’t know where I’m going to fritter away the next stage of my life just like I’ve wasted the previous two decades, but I know it can’t be here,” he continued.
Forlano told reporters that he hopes to leave behind the drudgery of his present lifestyle by taking to the open road with no destination in mind and driving until he finds another town where he feels he can put down new roots, continue making no effort to improve himself, and never pursue his passions.
At press time, Forlano had reportedly reconsidered his choice, committing himself to digging even deeper into his rut in his hometown for the foreseeable future.
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