I am the founding partner of Fersch LLC, a family law practice in New York City. I am the co-chairwoman of the Matrimonial Lawyers Pro Bono Law Project, sponsored by the New York Women’s Bar Association, and serve on the Board of Directors of the non-profits Community Word and Family Kind.
A google search of “custody and narcissist” brings up numerous law firm articles on the topic as well as articles in Psychology Today, WebMD, Forbes. There are numerous videos with “experts” including retired judges, lawyers, therapists, many of whom sell various “packages” to parents who believe they are involved with a narcissist and need help. Often the “expert” is a litigant who has been through custody litigation with a narcissist and prevailed.
Email and text communication show the interactions between the parents-is the communication, courteous, to the point? Does it show concern for the child or is it an attempt to blame the other parent? Is one parent deflecting the other and refusing to take responsibility for things that occur during his or her parenting time? Does social media show a flamboyant lifestyle with no room for parenting? Online communication postings can all be exhibits at trial.
Photographs can serve as a method of describing time, activities and vacations with the child. They can also show injuries to the child.
Parents involved in litigation against a narcissistic spouse, ex-spouse or partner often fear that narcissist will charm the judge, lawyers, other witnesses and that the narcissist will ultimately prevail at trial. The opposite is often true, while a party’s narcissistic traits make them a nightmare to co-parent with, those same narcissistic traits are laid bare in the courtroom for all to see, inspect and observe.
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