The Palm Springs airport public restroom has never seen such drama.
The Salt Lake City Housewives have barely deboarded their plane at the start of a cast trip to Palm Springs before Lisa begins to rant and rave about her missing piece of jewelry. Luckily, fellow castmate Heather Gay—related to the aforementioned Palm Springs Gays only by spirit, not by blood—captures kernels of Lisa’s meltdown while hiding out in a toilet stall.
“I don’t know what could’ve happened because we were searching high and low in that lovely public restroom,” cast member Meredith Marks adds in her confessional. Lisa claims that they were inside the restroom looking for at least 45 minutes. A few moments later, she’s outside speaking with airport security, filing a report for a lost item.
“Every woman in [that bathroom] was like, ‘Let’s find her ring!’” Lisa tells the security agents. She says it was such a gusto, such a passion for womanhood, that it’s hard not to giggle. And I know precisely what kind of phenomenon she’s talking about, too. There are few experiences in this life more intimate than connecting with women in a public restroom, as I have done innumerable times in the gender neutral bathrooms at shitty dive bars across the greater New York City metropolitan area.
Lisa must’ve been convincing, given that Monica details the lengths she went to in the search as all of the women are loading into their sprinter van. “I went in the tampons, girl!” she says. “I had my hand in the toilet in a public restroom.” A friend who is willing to rifle through the tampon waste bin and put their fist into ais a friend for life, and if Lisa and Monica cross each other in the future, I’m not sure there will be any hope for the rest of our friendships.
Despite the best efforts of Monica and all of the other women in the bathroom who were roped into their harebrained hunt, the ring was never found—at least not that day. It may have been valued at $60,000, according to Lisa, but maybe the real value was the friendship they had together all along. And now, Lisa has something even better than an expensive ring: an ally who would do anything for her.
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