Ariana Grande's Christmas and Chill will make your holidays approximately 700 percent more libidinous
Are you wit it this Christmas? Photo: YouTube Before eternally horny theater kid Ariana Grande embarked on the final leg of her Sweetener tour last week, she let fans know to expect something a little different this time around. “pls have so much fun and sing your hearts out to christmas n chill bc no one on earth bought it or has heard it or will know what’s happening,” she tweeted.
Christmas and Chill opens with a brief intro in which Grande welcomes her listeners “to Christmas” — which, she helpfully explains, only “comes one time a year” — then shares that she will be spending said holiday “singing, ‘Oh, oh, oh, oh.’” This is the least explicit song on the album, so if you’re already feeling uncomfortable about the conflation of Christ and carnality, now is the time to walk away .
Next up is “December,” in which Grande further expounds upon the ways in which she and her unnamed partner will utilize Christmas as an aphrodisiac. “When December comes / I bet you want to wrap me all up and take me home with you / See what I look like under them lights / We’ll keep it quiet, whatever we do.
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