OPINION: Who takes the lead in managing money in the household and how couples decide to manage money together depends on several factors. But never use money to control a spouse — doing so will become a destructive force in your marriage.
Progress has been slow, but American society’s openness around marriage norms and money issues continues to evolve. Married couples now include the LGBTQ+ community, and 38% of breadwinners are women. I share this because gender norms are becoming less normal, which in fact means that nobody is safe from the possibility of a spouse using money as a tool for control.
Assigning a spouse to manage money is different. In this arrangement, a spouse can avoid worrying about bill due dates or credit card management and still have an equal say in how money is used in the marriage. Healthy divide It is healthy to divide the responsibilities of managing money and a home in a way that is equitable and plays to the strengths of each partner. Take, for example, Dan and Kim Kadlec.
Yet some married couples find discussions about money stressful and uncomfortable even in the best settings. A 2021 report by researchers at George Washington University showed that 50% of surveyed U.S. adults felt stressed when discussing their personal finances, and 60% experienced anxiety just thinking about their finances. These findings rang true among all types of demographics.
2. Keep your finances separate: Alternatively, much like two roommates sharing expenses, your accounts are separate and expenses are paid based on whatever arrangement you come up with. This could be as simple as a 50-50 split, but it doesn’t have to be. There is evidence that when there is tension around money and a significant income disparity between the spouses, they might arrange a shared expense model proportionate to that difference.
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