HolaPapi: 'It’s that time of year when I feel like a fake gay person.' jpbrammer responds
First of all, happy Pride! Second of all, it’s that time of year when I feel like a fake gay person. It’s not even that I haven’t been in a gay relationship , but I just feel like I don’t act the same as the gay people around me.
I started thinking about this more after watching Heartstopper and felt so disconnected from the core of that show I briefly wondered if maybe I was a straight person in gay cosplay. Anyway, any advice or thoughts on how to deal with this feeling of being an impostor gay would be appreciated.After years of receiving this letter in various forms and having plenty of time to ponder its source, I’ve reached a few conclusions I’d like to share.
The internet also encourages us to perform those identities once we’ve added them to the public project of ourselves, as a magpie adds trinkets to its nest. It incentivizes us to spout things like “Bi girls with chronic anxiety and IBS all own that one pair of pants,” to which one may feel inclined to respond, “I feel called out,” or something.
But perception isn’t necessarily reality. You don’t actually know that those queers are moving in perfect lockstep. The idea that this community, of all communities, has any kind of working consensus on anything is laughable. This shit is like herding cats, if all the cats were hopped up on Four Lokos and had wings and could fly somehow. You are imagining a monolith because you’re insecure in yourself.
But ultimately, no two queer people have the same story, the same journey, or the same tastes. That’s true of people who aren’t queer, too. Yes, cliquishness exists, and, frankly, the slang moves so quickly that there are days when I look at Twitter and wonder if I am too out of the loop to be a homosexual.
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