'I was an atheist. Now I'm an Orthodox Jew' - At 12, kylieoralobell decided God didn't exist. Here, she writes about how she found faith in her 20s.
How could He? Even after I prayed to God every night as a child that my parents wouldn't get divorced, they still got divorced. Wasn't God supposed to answer prayers?
I became convinced that there was no God, and religion was stupid. It was there to control and manipulate us. It was bad for society. People who believed in God were fooling themselves. We lived and we died and that was it. I sat at the Shabbat table, eating delicious home-cooked food with Jews from all walks of life, from the Hasidic rabbi and his family to a businessman in orange glasses and a young hipster artist. As I sat, I listened to the rabbi speak and I felt a warmth in my chest I'd never felt before.Slowly, as I learned more about Judaism, I started to believe in God. I believed that open miracles didn't happen anymore, but that didn't mean God wasn't there.
At first, Danny didn't want to take part in the process. But seeing me learn sparked something inside of him. He loved spending Shabbat with me and remembered the calming feeling it gave him when he was younger. He enjoyed praying again; he said it helped him connect with himself, and with God. Eventually, Danny started coming to classes with me and we grew in our observance together.
Kylie Ora Lobell and her husband Danny, cutting their wedding cake in 2015. Kylie Ora Lobell converted to Judaism after meeting her partner.When we had both of our beautiful daughters, people in the community—even strangers—provided us with meals for a month straight and sent gifts and blessings our way. In the Jewish community, your personal becomes everybody's. And if, God forbid, anything negative happens, they're there for you, too.
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