Dear Care and Feeding: I can't tell if this job is saving or ruining us.
Sometimes I don’t see my kids for six weeks at a time. Sometimes I’m working night shifts so I only FaceTime them right before school. My husband is taking care of our kids while they puke, but I’m taking care of strangers while they do. My family is thriving but as we come up on the two years, I feel so guilty and worried that I’m harming our kids or overloading my husband, that I can’t tell if I should keep my great job or if I’m ruining my family.
But it doesn’t really matter if I’m onboard with your decision or not.
If you can answer all of those questions in a way that feels satisfactory, then I believe you should continue with your current position. There are plenty of jobs that require extensive travel for one parent, and, to use your word, many of those families are thriving—so this isn’t new. Your role in this is to ensure everyone is completely honest with their feelings when it comes to you taking on this role indefinitely.“Nell” is 19.
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