HolaPapi: 'How do I get past this ridiculous infatuation and move on with my life?' jpbrammer responds
Illustration: Pedro Nekoi I’m one of those annoying women who has everything she’s ever dreamed of. I’m healthy, I’ve built a successful career that I enjoy, I finally have the perfect NYC apartment, and I’m engaged to a truly wonderful man, S., whom I’m totally and completely in love with.
A month later, I met an incredibly sexy and charismatic guy, B. . For six magical weeks, we saw each other five times a week and had really amazing sex no less than four times a day. He was sweet and charming, and I was in heaven. However, he was also pretty co-dependent, and he told me he loved me two weeks after meeting me. Oh, and he was a heroin addict and drug trafficker who was awaiting trial for a felony he claimed he didn’t commit, so, not exactly husband material.
It seems to me your issue is not whether you should stay in your relationship or actually pursue anything with B. Rather, you’re uncomfortable with your own passions and looking for ways to quell them because they make you feel guilty. I call this the “wandering third eye,” coveting imagined alternate realities.
This is understandable if you take them to be indictments of your character. When we have everything we need, we might feel guilty for dreaming of the things we want — erotic adventures and indulgent decisions. The reckless, the life-changing, the romantic, the alluring magics of taboo. Oh, you need not tell me! I am a veritable sea witch of this particular cave.
France Dernières Nouvelles, France Actualités
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