'Man, am I going to suck.'
First of all, I’m not ready for this. Making another human being the center of my universe is not something I want to do. No doubt, I’ll take my frustrations out on him. Not overtly. Just in lots of little passive-aggressive ways that undermine his sense of self-esteem and well-being. One day, in about 20 years, he’ll trace it back to me while on his therapist’s couch. But by then, it’ll be way too late.
That won’t be my only shortcoming. When it comes to discipline, I’ll be weak and inconsistent. If he asks for candy right before bedtime, I’ll say yes right after his mother says no. He’ll quickly learn to come to me when he wants something he’s not supposed to have. And, on the off chance I actually say no to something, I’ll change my tune if he whines or throws a tantrum. That should help me lose his respect, not to mention undermine his mother’s hard-earned authority.
The teen years are a difficult time, and in addition to not having the slightest idea what he’s into and what his interests are, I’ll be fighting with him all the time. Unfortunately, once he’s finally old enough that I can reason with him, I’ll have resorted to yelling things like, “Because I’m your father and I said so!” I’ll start snapping at him and harassing him about what he’s up to and who he’s hanging around with and what he’s doing with his life.
And I haven’t even touched on how I’ll fail to teach my son life lessons through positive examples. Or the high probability that he’ll wind up a child of divorce. Or how my growing drinking problem will make the emotional chasm between us even harder to bridge, eventually causing him to take up the bottle himself. Or how all of this will make it almost impossible for him to have healthy relationships with his own kids.
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