Here, a couples therapist describes what love looks like in successful relationships—and how to build it. 💓
It's 8 a.m.: Molly is in the kitchen making coffee. Jack wanders in. Molly asks him how he slept. Not well; he's worried about a meeting he has today. Molly asks him if there is anything she can do to help.
Jack and Molly have started their day signaling each other of their ongoing awareness of each other and their willingness and ability to care about each other's needs, desires, and well-being.Love, in successful relationships, is people creating for each other a sense of being safe, cared about, trusted, and trusting.
The typical romantic story of love is the story of finding that special someone. At the end, the two people ride off into the sunset. But that is just the beginning. The relationship you want is not something you get simply by choosing the right partner, putting a ring on your beloved's finger, and scheduling a caterer. Love in successful relationships is built in each moment.
No surf? You sit on the beach remembering together the great times you've had. Or take the opportunity to find out what each of you wants for the future.
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