Relationship advice: It’s time for a frank discussion about finances and perhaps some outside advice from a budgeting expert.
Hi! I’m an avid reader! I’m stuck in a situation and want to know what you think.
He’s an electrician with good pay for his age and he’ll have a great career, but he’s already living way beyond his means. Just before we got together, he bought a new truck and added bunch of things on it to keep up with our friends. I know he dreamed about it and worked hard to get it but his payments are insane and he’ll be stuck with them forever. I won’t mention the snowmachine. His credit card spending is so scary and the interest just keeps piling up.
I keep hoping this is just a phase and he’ll have a wake-up call after realizing how deep this hole is. I also hope he finally understands that I literally have anxiety worrying about his spending messing up our future. How can I show him I’m worried about him and us without making him feel like I’m judging him? I really care about him and I want us to figure this out but this isn’t easy.Finances are high on the list of major topics that can divide and conquer even the most committed couples.
This freewheeling approach is fine when one’s cruising through life — in a decked-out truck — solo. But once we enter into those adult relationships with possible forever futures, that changes. Funds are no longer a pipeline to fun, but a lifeline to future shared security. That your boyfriend doesn’t get this makes me wonder whether he’s pondering a long future together as seriously as you are. Your first step is to confirm you’re both on the same page and looking ahead to marriage.
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