Many high potential women find themselves at a dead-end. They either feel that they are not living in alignment with their strengths and values. Or that they are walking the fine line of competence and like-ability.
I once read somewhere that behavior is always a reflection of age or stage of development. And Dr. Robert Kegan, who studies adult human development at Harvard University, has found that most individuals are stuck at an earlier stage of development marked by hubris and pride. The behaviors of male colleagues that frustrate women are generally a reflection of that stunted adult development.
With this understanding, it's easier to be the adult, and perhaps easier still if you happen to be a parent. When you see your co-worker as a child who is acting out of line, seeking attention, or interrupting you mid-conversation, you’ll instinctively know how to keep your cool, discern what the situation calls for, and respond assertively when you need to do so. You may not do anything differently to what you’re already doing. But you’ll do so from a place of power.
This means not only looking after your physical needs, but also listening to your emotional, mental, and spiritual needs. How will you stay positive? What will you do to distance yourself from negative emotions while listening to them? How will you set boundaries, so you are not running on empty? And how will you attend to your human needs for creativity and self-expression?We live and work in what has been described as a VUCA world—volatile, uncertain, chaotic, and ambiguous.
This is what ally-ship is about. It’s about being a champion for others, for helping them see their own brilliance , and about opening doors for them that help them do their best work. So find a woman to be an ally to, making sure you include at least one minority group. This may require you to work through your own biases and beliefs, because we all have them.
And find an ally for yourself too, and ideally a male because we’re all in this together. Aware and conscientious men know that when women rise, so does everyone. Let them know what your ambitions are, be open to their feedback and engage them in your growth.
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