Listening is key.
, a biweekly column by sex therapist Vanessa Marin answering your most confidential questions to help you achieve a healthy, joyful sex life. Here, she answers a question about how to encourage a partner to get sex therapy after experiencing abuse.to my partner without freaking her out? She was sexually assaulted as a teenager and has been open with me about the fact that she sometimes has a trauma response during sex with me. I've noticed it, too.
It’s also wonderful that you want to be sensitive about making sure your girlfriend doesn’t feel like she’s broken. Virtually every sexual abuse survivor I’ve ever worked with has expressed feeling like they’re “damaged goods” in one way or another. Sexual assault is a horrific thing to have to endure, but it doesn’t make you any less whole or worthy of a person.
I know it might seem like I’m gushing with praise here, but unfortunately, there just aren’t many partners who are as thoughtful as you seem to be, so I wanted to acknowledge that. . Tell her that you’re so sorry she’s had to go through sexual abuse, and you’re proud of her for seeking psychotherapy in the past.
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