How to deal with other people's stress, anger, and other difficult emotions
When we notice someone showing signs of frustration, the most effective approach is supportive and nonreactive. Behavior may begin showing some slight deviations from what is acceptable or normal. If we can notice feeling nervous, antsy, or irritated at a two, three, or four on the proverbial anxiety meter, then we may likely be able to independently self-soothe.
Sometimes we witness in others a significant loss in rationality. This is when we may see physical acting out in its varying forms. I would call this a seven, eight, or nine on the anxiety meter. Remember, then, the level of reason, likewise, may be down to a 2 or 3! The most effective approach to this behavior requires remaining firm but non-aggressive.
Here, it is not unusual to try desperately to reason things out in ways that justify whatever behavior we have just engaged in. This is because our reason meter is slowly and steadily rising as our anxiety is reaching back down to a safe level. Because of the way our brains work, it is likely at this point that an individual is going to continue in this direction, from volatility toward vulnerability, although perhaps with a few small aftershocks.
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