'I consistently joke that everything about me is big, except for my teeth and wrists!'
I’ve struggled with weight my entire life. At 5’10”, I’ve always been a generally large person. I consistently joke that everything about me is big, except for my teeth and wrists!
All that being said, I’ve been really frustrated over the last five years with my weight. I had lost a lot of weight in my early and mid-20s when my job required me to run all over Washington, D.C. with little breaks. I was also looking for love and stupidly thought the number on the scale mattered when it came to finding romance. It wasn’t until I was in my late 20s and met my now husband that I realised it doesn’t matter what you look like when love is involved..
Over the next four-and-a-half years, I continued to have the panic attacks, or ‘episodes’ as my husband and I nicknamed them. We thought they were due to our bulldog passing away, then again because we were thinking about moving home to Pennsylvania, my relationship with my husband, our wedding prep since he had proposed in 2020, the list goes on. My antidepressant got changed to generic Prozac and the dose got upped.
All the while, I could see from January 2017 through where I was at that point that my weight had crept up, making quite a significant jump when I started the SSRIs. It was incredibly frustrating and made me very upset. I internalised a lot of my weight struggles , often thinking of myself as a failure.
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