Why our brain mostly remembers the highs and lows of events—and especially their endings—and what that can mean for work and relationships, by tony_m_evans
When looking back, people don’t always evaluate experiences in a rational way.How do you decide if an experience is good or bad? This can be a difficult question, as few things in life are completely pleasant or completely unpleasant. Some experiences start out great and gradually get worse over time . Other experiences start out weak but get better as they go on .
After an experience ends, whether it’s a television show, job, or relationship, the way that our minds remember and process information will shape how we think about the experience. Like many other processes, the way that we do this doesn’t always make sense or serve our best interests.For a rational decision-maker, whether or not you remember an experience positively should be based on the total sum of your feelings during the experience.
Objective happiness doesn’t account for variability in experience. Consider two TV shows that make you feel, on average, moderately happy . One show is consistently mediocre — every single episode is a 5 out of 10. The other is wildly variable — some episodes are excellent , and others are bad . Obviously, people don’t evaluate these two shows as equally good.
Not every part of an experience should be considered equally important. Sometimes a bad ending can completely invalidate everything that came before , or it might be easier toResearch suggests that people judge experiences based on two critical aspects — the peak and the end . Arguably, we focus on these aspects of experience because of how ourprioritizes information. We are more likely to remember things that are emotionally intense and things that are relatively recent .
Importantly, the fact that we focus on these parts of experience can lead to some seemingly irrational judgments. Famously, Kahneman and colleagues found that you could make a painful experience more pleasant by adding an additional experience at the ending. In other words: 30 seconds of extreme pain is remembered as being worse than 30 seconds of extreme pain30 extra seconds of moderate pain.
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