If you’re exhausted from making decisions daily about kids and COVID, you’re not alone. courtney_t_runn spoke with parents and experts about how they’re navigating uncomfortable conversations, setting boundaries, and advocating for their children
Photo: Getty Images In the early days of the pandemic, Crystal Maldonado felt like she was on a desert island. Isolated at home with her husband and 7-month-old baby in Springfield, Massachusetts, she was without child care or family help. The couple traded off watching their daughter between Zoom calls. Once day care reopened, they decided the socialization was worth the risk of being around other babies.
“If you’re living in a household where everyone is an adult and you can all be vaccinated, you’re in a different part of the pandemic than I am,” she says. Dr. Theresa Chapple, a perinatal epidemiologist and the director of public health for Oak Park, Illinois, suggests checking your community’s COVID-19 data every week to help inform your decision without having to guesstimate based on conflicting or confusing reports. Knowing your local risk can help you plan in the moment and avoid basing your decisions off of experiential data from different points in the pandemic.
Reagan has mostly stuck to playdates with family friends but on the rare occasion her kids are around other kids whose parents she doesn’t know — like at a recent classmate’s birthday party — masks are a must. To help assess the level of risk involved, she compares it to what her oldest two experience at school. “I can’t be afraid to do this because it’s not more dangerous than school,” she reminds herself when weighing the benefits of socialization against the risk of getting sick.
“We feel very strongly that masks and vaccines are important, but not everyone feels that way,” she suggests explaining to your children. “We all have choice. You choose what you wear every morning; we choose where we go to church, where we live, our favorite foods, our favorite colors.” Angelina Vicknair, a freelance marketer in New Orleans, has presented her two sons with data to help them understand why masks and vaccines are helpful. She explained to them how different countries around the world are reacting differently to the pandemic and showed them how some of those efforts have been successful and others not so much. Especially for her 10-year-old, who is a deeper thinker, she says it has helped put his mind at ease about why they’re doing what they’re doing as a family.
And if you still feel uncomfortable, remember your why. “You can make decisions that are different than your best friend,” Parker says. “You have to do what’s right for your own family.” When she saw someone posting in her local Buy Nothing Facebook group in Austin looking for a mom to take neighborhood walks with, Lee immediately reached out. After messaging back and forth, they decided to create a Facebook group for new parents in their Zip Code. They started organizing walks, recruiting moms they’d come across in the neighborhood and at the park.
For the past 19 months, she has regularly hosted Zoom events, and everyone is invited: high-school friends from New York City, connections in Hawaii, where her daughter was born, local acquaintances, mutual friends, basically anyone who sees her Facebook posts. Book club is once a month; conversation games are on Fridays and Saturday, and cooking group is at 5 p.m. on Sundays. “There’s always room for more friends,” she says.
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