Is there a way around this cleanup issue, or am I forever doomed to do all the dishes by myself the next morning? Help!
I recently did some research on an ancestry website about my recently deceased grandmother’s family. While doing so, I found my grandmother’s first husband—my father’s biological father. He abandoned my grandmother with two children in England in the 1950s, went AWOL from the Air Force, and was never heard from again. My father has made it plain over the years that he has no curiosity about this man. My grandmother remarried, and I love and admire my grandfather, who is still living.
I expected my father’s father would be dead. I never thought I’d find a living man. Do I share this information with my father? Or do I keep silent? Do I reach out to this stranger? Or do I leave it well enough alone and say it was never meant to be?but you have a material interest in this discovery that is separate from your father’s.
Ask yourself, too, what your goals are in reaching out to your grandfather in particular. Do you want to try to facilitate a reunion? Do you want to ask for an explanation or apology on your father’s behalf? Do you want to develop a relationship with your cousins? It will help clarify what the next right move is, to have more specific aims than “satisfy my curiosity.
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