DearPrudie: I think my sister's boyfriend is a mooch, but everyone else loves him. Help!
This sounds like the letter writer is projecting a lot of pain about missing her sister on her sister’s boyfriend. It could be that your sister has no idea that you want to spend one-on-one time with her. Tell her how you feel, honestly, without including the boyfriend in the discussion. Just say that it would mean a lot to you if you could count on some one-on-one time with her here and there, without her boyfriend, and leave it at that.This is great advice.
I recently started a new job at 75 percent my prior pay. I took this pay cut because this job is task-based and allows me to come and go as needed. One of my co-workers was turned down for this position. She knows about the pay. She continues to promote the idea that I should be here from 8–5 every day. She makes subtle underhanded comments about my work ethic and schedule. Slowly some of the other people in our office have started to follow suit. Our work is entirely unrelated.
It sounds to me that saying, “Jane, I think you misunderstand my arrangement with my boss,” then briefly explaining it is something you have already tried. If not, do that. Repeat if someone else says something. It is indeed no one else’s business, but it’s definitely impacting your work, or soon will.
If this escalates, email your boss and say that you love your current arrangement but you think many of your colleagues think you’re a slacker for not working 8–5. Here’s the key: Ask her for advice, after saying you’ve been ignoring it for several months. She may say something to the team, but it plays better than “can you tell them to lay off me?”If you loan anyone money without getting a signed promissory note—Be glad you have half of the loan back.
I don’t think I would say anything to your friend. Then you might lose good friends as well as the money.to the friend regardless, but your first point is so good. I do not “lend” money—I give money and do not expect to see it again. If you can’t afford to give the money, don’t assume a handshake loan will result in you being made whole, and Just Say No.
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