Healing the Wounds That Bind You

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Healing the Wounds That Bind You
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5 keys to letting go of the hurt and regret you've felt for a long time

or a depressive undertone that gently, and sometimes not so gently, taps on your shoulder to let you know it is still there.

Learn to do inner child work, where your adult self is the caring person who coaches and protects your younger self who is experiencing the event in the memory.Healing can be a bit more complicated than this, but these are the basic steps. There are many good resources in published books and online references, and a good clinical psychologist can see you through the process.

You might feel a bit angry and hurt by this thought, and so you decide that you won’t let that person, that earlier version of you, be forgotten. They deserved to be seen, cared for, and protected. And as long as you keep replaying their story and feeling their pain, you are ensuring that they are seen and still exist in someone’s mind.

Similarly, I was talking to a friend recently who is having a hard time leaving a romantic partner. My friend’s thought is that if he leaves, the partner will forget him, and he will not exist in a meaningful way in that person’s mind. And so, my friend hangs on, even in the midst of dysfunction and pain, to avoid the grief of being forgotten .

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