Let's show our kids how it's done.
Well, here we are, folks. It’s Halloween season. My kids are at peak age—old enough to have very strong opinions about what they want to dress up as and feel they need to compete with their peers, but not old enough to have their own J.O.B.s so they can pay for their own shit. For example, my daughter came across a cute Hermione costume online that she loved. It was 80 bucks. EIGHTY DOLLARS, ARE YOU KIDDING ME, CHILD.
Seriously, parents. What the hell happened to Halloween? I KNOW this holiday was easier when we were kids. The biggest stress our parents had was checking the candy for needles after the nightly news ran a story one year about some deranged psychopath trying to hurt kids. I mean, I’m not saying that’s not a big deal—it is. But I distinctly remember wanting to be a California Raisin one year, and my mom throwing a garbage bag over my head, pouring herself a beer, and calling it good.
So here’s what I propose. Let’s dial it back a notch and give our kids a simple, fun, old school Halloween. This is what we’ll need:None of these fancy Darth Vader or Paw Patrol light up talking buckets that cost a small fortune for collecting candy. If I have to replace the batteries in my kids’ BUCKET, we’ve officially gone too far, people.
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