'And to think, after months and months and months of this, they have the nerve to look confused and frightened when I glare at them in the hallway and say, 'Have fun, perverts.''
Christ almighty, here we go again. Just when I think I can finally get in a good night's sleep, those upstairs neighbors of mine start silently going to town on each other again like a couple of goddamn cats in heat, I imagine.
It's like, take a day off, you two! How can they possibly have the energy to inaudibly screw the living bejeezus out of each other every single night in every conceivable position until the sun comes up, as I am assuming they must do? Really, to ceaselessly and without making a sound indulge in a veritable cornucopia of unimaginably debauched carnal pleasures for hours on end for all I know because I have no actual evidence—it's just not normal!And to think, after months and months and...
Now don't get me wrong, I firmly believe in "live and let live," and I'm not some prude who gets offended by people having intimate relations with one another. That's their business. But to keep me awake half the night with the kinky filth that I am for no real reason convinced is quietly happening up there is just plain inconsiderate.
Well, enough is enough. If I'm going to continue to suppose that the two of them insist on nightly fulfilling their every noiseless, twisted sexual fantasy, then something's got to be done. There's no other way around it: I'm going to have to strip naked, cover myself in cake batter, march right up there, kick the door in, and start paddling myself bloody with a wooden pizza peel while screaming, "How do you like it, huh?! How do you like this, Mrs.
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