It's all about how you respond to your child's big feelings.
Children learn that they deserve love even when they're struggling.
"When I learned that my child's meltdowns were the way they released stress and big feelings and not something I needed to manage, control, or shut down, it allowed me to feel less overwhelmed and less triggered." Once you do that, you can shift your perspective from the headspace of"I can't stand my child right now" to"My child needs my help right now."
Part of the perspective shift includes the way you respond to your child's big feelings, including the language you use to"discipline" them. When kids are struggling, Nick recommends using the Magic 9:"I see you. I've got you. I love you." Those nine words are meant to help your child feel safe, seen, secure and loved — even during the toughest or messiest moments.
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