'My therapist often refers to chosen family as logical family, as opposed to biological family. Chosen family are the people who make sense to you and the people who help you make sense to yourself.'
Bekah will be spending Christmas with other folks in her borough who are alone for the festive period, however, she feels far from alone."I have a group chat filled with people I met during a Stonewall residential trip for young QTIPOC campaigners early this year. I can lean on these people whenever I need as we have an understanding that we will always support each other, though we are all spread across the UK. The WhatsApp group is like a sanctuary.
This Christmas, Alex*, a genderfluid person, will also be relying on support from outside their biological family and will be staying with their girlfriend’s family over the festive period as they no longer have a relationship with their parents."[My mum] outed me to my dad, who repeatedly told me that I was an abomination, I was going to hell and I was an embarrassment to the family.
Much of what Alex has been grappling with hinges on the conditional acceptance they previously experienced from their biological family as well as knowing that the seasonal festivities they once shared are a thing of the past:"Christmas is hard for me because I have such good memories of Christmas with my parents but then I remember that I won’t be able to make any good new memories with them for a long time.
It’s for these very reasons that an event like Queer Black Christmas exists, with its creator Compas also citing the critical importance of chosen family as a reason for its existence."Chosen family have upheld me, supported me and uplifted me when I didn’t know I needed it, whether it was people offering me a sofa to stay on, a bed to sleep in, cooking me food or just some words of encouragement.
"My therapist often refers to chosen family as logical family, as opposed to biological family," Compas adds."Chosen family are the people who make sense to you and the people who help you make sense to yourself."
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