‘Firestarter’ Is a Sign That Zac Efron Needs to Call His Agent. Immediately.

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‘Firestarter’ Is a Sign That Zac Efron Needs to Call His Agent. Immediately.
France Dernières Nouvelles,France Actualités
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'The only mood conjured by this dud is one of extreme torpor, and the only response it elicits is confusion as to why anyone—including headliner Zac Efron—thought this was worthy of their time or energy in the first place.' Read nschager's review:

. It was a dreary era of substandard do-overs that put a glossy modern sheen on works that had never demanded such treatment, and save for the rare exception , they were tossed-off cash-grabs that exploited familiar and easily marketable properties to a new generation of genre audiences eager for something sinister and sick to enjoy with their friends on a Friday night.and likeminded projects that strip-mined beloved 1970s and ’80s gems for nostalgic homages.

All of which brings us to Keith Thomas’ 2022 iteration of King’s tale, a misbegotten undertaking that straddles the line between the crummy rehashes of 20 years ago and the more recent tributes of the last decade. Premiering simultaneously in theaters and on Peacock today ,feels, from the start, almost completely DOA—a somewhat shocking turn of events given that director Keith Thomas’ priorwas a restrained and efficient slice of religious horror.

A credit sequence of grainy VHS footage elucidates that, as college students, Andy and Vicky were part of a scientific trial involving a hallucinogenic chemical compound that granted them telepathic and telekinetic powers, both of which they’ve subsequently passed on to their firestarter daughter. This LSD-is-bad scenario was a byproduct of the book’s specific 1980 time, and thus resonates as wholly out of place in a 2022 story.

Charlie learns about this state of affairs when she explodes in sizzling fashion at school and at home , thereby attracting the attention of The Shop’s Captain Hollister , who seeks counsel from her predecessor Dr. Joseph Wanless and enlists another enhanced test subject—Michael Greyeyes’ John Rainbird—to hunt Charlie. Before long, Andy and Charlie are fleeing capture from the powers-that-be, whose shadowy nefariousness is also a holdover from the 1970s.

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