'If you act all scared of her sexuality, how is she supposed to feel?'
, and what it was like to watch her grow up and start dating. He spoke eloquently about his valuing his daughter’s independence, about stepping back and letting her make her mistakes, about not being an overbearing father with a “shotgun at the door.” He said that he wanted Maya to be her own shotgun.Twitter account posted Hawke’s words today, as they unfortunately felt relevant to the current news cycle.
His remarks were met with widespread disgust. So-called “virginity tests” are inaccurate–the hymen can be broken from a wide range of physical activity, and in some cases hymens remain intact even months after one becomes sexually active. It’s an unethical medical practice, and T.I.’s behavior is an abusive violation of his daughter’s privacy at best .
Which brings us back to Hawke. Men are unduly praised for the sort of solid parenting that’s generally expected of women; when #MeToo first entered the lexicon, male politicians and celebrities kept saying the phrase “as a father of daughters” to the point of parody. A man should not need to have a daughter in order to see women as equals who should not be subject to sexual violence. But alas! Considering Tip’s nightmare news cycle, it was quite refreshing to read Hawke’s thoughts on parenthood.
“There’s this thing that goes around with men that they’re supposed to be scared of their daughter’s sexuality,” said Hawke. “I remember my oldest daughter Maya, when she was turning sixteen… ‘Oh, I better keep these guys away, keep a shotgun at the door’ or something… I was like, you know what, I’m going to give Maya permission to be her own shotgun.
“She doesn’t need a dad with a shotgun behind her,” he added. “She can handle herself and she can go and have a good time, and she can make mistakes and she can recover from them… We’re allowed to grow up, and if we don’t then we’re just going to live in a little tiny, tiny glass world.”
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