NEW YORK—In a press conference calling for an end to the persistent scourge on local residents, New York Mayor Eric Adams announced Tuesday a $4 billion budget increase to help the city’s police department fight ghosts. “For too long, these phantoms and wayward spirits have terrorized our citizens and afflicted this…
NEW YORK—In a press conference calling for an end to the persistent scourge on local residents, New York Mayor Eric Adams announced Tuesday a $4 billion budget increase to help the city’s police department fight ghosts.
“Any New York City resident who has a tip about a malicious poltergeist, be it a spectral longshoreman or a demonic killer in Hell’s Kitchen, can now call our tip line and rest assured that NYPD will arrive promptly and with the instruments needed for a full-scale exorcism. And frankly, it’s about time: Our subways are covered with ectoplasm. Central Park is filled with ghastly coachmen led by cadaverous horses.
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