Dear How to Do It: Is this simply me trying to have my cake and eat it too?
My boyfriend “Mark” and I have been together for over a year after meeting at a show and falling in love. It’s a long-distance relationship , and I feel like I’m going to lose my mind if I don’t get some perspective on something.
I feel like I’ve got a great big ol’ floppy albatross around my neck. I love Mark more than I can easily say, but I’m terrified that I make him feel unwanted. What’s your take on this? Should I try something different, do something different? How can I thread this needle?A lot could be going on here. It could be as simple as psychology bringing you down. You said it well: “negative feedback loop.” Anxiety is a great boner killer, especially when that anxiety is a direct result of killed boners.
If/then thinking can only go so far to explain sexual response. There’s too much variation to apply a hard set of rules to everyone. Your softness is bigger than the rigidity of “how things should be,” and making him come is one of your favorite things in the world. Your body and brain are telling you who you are. This isn’t your problem; it’s Mark’s.
France Dernières Nouvelles, France Actualités
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