Desperate Kim Jong Un Pleads With Citizens to Make More Poop

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Desperate Kim Jong Un Pleads With Citizens to Make More Poop
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North Korean authorities have embarked on a nationwide manure publicity campaign in light of a dire fertilizer shortage across the country.

The urgency of the quest “doesn’t sound like ‘BS’ to me,” Victor Cha, who is in charge of North Korea issues at the Center for Strategic and International Studies in Washington, told The Daily Beast. “It’s an interesting commentary that ‘smells’ of how serious the crop situation is without the annual fertilizer shoveled out by South Korea.”

Quotas for producing manure range from 200 kilograms for each household t0 500 kilograms for everyone working in state factories,reported, but people did get one break. Markets this month began opening an hour later in the afternoon, from 3 to 5 rather than 2 to 5, to give “an extra hour to produce manure.

People in Jagang Province, up by the Chinese border, “carried tens of thousands of tons of manure to co-op farms in three days through this year’s first campaign,” said one breathless report carried by Pyongyang’s Korean Central News Agency. “Officials of the provincial institutions took the lead in the campaign, guiding the transport of manure to farm fields.”

Such reports seemed intended to increase rivalry among regions as well as officials and individuals for the honor of producing the most manure., reporting that directors and officials were “focused on fulfilling their quotas, afraid that units that fall behind will face ‘thorough review’—a euphemism obviously for severe punishment.” Low-level officials “are protecting themselves,” said the report, by imposing fines on those who failed to meet quotas.

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