Advice from Annie Lane.
: My friend “Emily” and I go way back to our college days, when we used to share absolutely everything with each other -- the good, the bad and the ugly. She recently got a promotion at work , something I know she’s been dreaming of for a while. Of course, I’m super happy for her, but things between us have kind of shifted since then.
Now it’s all about her job and her new responsibilities and her added stress, and whenever I try to bring up something about my work or what’s going on with me, it feels like she doesn’t care. It’s like suddenly, she’s in the spotlight and I’m just on the sidelines. I’m feeling a bit jealous and overlooked, which is totally not us. I want to talk to her about this without making her feel bad about her success or risking messing up our friendship.
This has been stressful for me, as I feel like I’m constantly under a microscope, making it hard to stay focused and be productive. I value autonomy and trust in the workplace. I’ve considered bringing up my concerns with Sarah directly, but I worry about pushback or coming off as resistant to change. Should I speak up about how I’m feeling or just try to adjust and see how it goes?Speaking up is often the best course of action.
It’s important to approach the discussion with openness to feedback and a focus on solutions that could benefit both of you. If, after the conversation, the situation doesn’t improve, it might be time to reflect on whether this environment aligns with your professional needs and well-being.Annie Lane offers common-sense solutions to everyday problems. She's firm, funny and sympathetic, echoing the style of her biggest inspiration, Ann Landers.
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