DEAR ABBY: I am 76. My husband and I planned our final wishes for cremation because I have had a lifelong fear of being buried underground.
I assume from your letter that you are neither a conservative nor an orthodox Jew. Because your question involves Jewish law , I ran your question by the most brilliant rabbi I know, Rabbi Elliot Dorff, who teaches at the American Jewish University in Los Angeles. In part, this is what he had to say:
“The prohibition against cremation comes from the belief that your body belongs to God, not to you personally. It’s not unlike renting an apartment. Part of the lease agreement is that you will not destroy or harm the property before you cease residency. Article content “The restriction regarding cremation came about because of the belief that it is actively destroying God’s property. According to the Committee on Jewish Law and Standards, cremation is prohibited, but if people do that their cremains may be buried in a Jewish cemetery — but, unlike what your children are threatening, it has nothing to do with what happens after death. There are differences on this subject. Nobody knows what happens after death, not even rabbis.
Rabbi Dorff said your children need to know there’s a disagreement among rabbis as to whether interment in a mausoleum is equivalent to burial in the ground. So, cremation may be “out” for you, but you can be laid to rest next to your husband in a crypt. What is of utmost importance is that your relationship with your children be restored. In the precious time you are on this side of the sod, you and your children need to be able to love and enjoy each other.
— Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby atShare this article in your social network
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