Dear Abby: What should I do about verbally abusive sister-in-law?

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Dear Abby: What should I do about verbally abusive sister-in-law?
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I suspect she has an addiction problem.

I’m hoping you can help with an ongoing issue I’m having with my sister-in-law. She has verbally assaulted me four times, each time acting like she doesn’t remember what she said or apologizing -- only to do it again. When these assaults happen, she’s intoxicated and high .

I have never been anything but kind to her, her husband and her children, and I never fight back. These attacks happen mostly via phone or text, after which I hang up or block her. Once, it happened in person, and I just walked away. I have done this so it doesn’t cause even more problems, but I have reached my limit.

What do I do next time I see her at a mutual get-together? I already told my husband I will no longer attend events at her home.Have you or your husband approached your sister-in-law’s husband about her erratic behavior and your concern about her substance abuse? I think you should. However, if you can’t bring yourself to do that, treat her as you would any other rude acquaintance you would prefer to avoid.

During a prior visit at our house, I asked her a question. As she was about to answer me, her cellphone buzzed. She got up, made a phone call and left the room for a while. Her call wasn’t an emergency; it was just to chat. We thought that was rude, too. What, if anything, should we say or do? She makes frequent texts and phone calls when we visit them. Are the rules different at their house?Your daughter-in-law’s behavior was rude and disrespectful. In your house, you should establish the rules. Consider making one of them leaving cellphones in a basket at your front door.

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