Dear Abby advises a woman whose husband left her for another woman and a man unsure if he should bring his cat with him when he moves.
I’m in mourning for my husband. He’s still alive, but he up and left six months ago and sent me a text saying he’s done. He is living with another woman. I didn’t see it coming. We were planning our retirement move up to our cabin. One weekend he kicked me out of the cabin, and three hours later had her join him there.
I feel so lost. At this point, I don’t want him back because I feel he has committed the ultimate betrayal. I have started counseling because I’m so confused, grieving and upset. My counselor seems to think he is leaving the door open to one day return. He still comes once a month to pay the bills. However, when he does, he doesn’t want me there. He texts to make sure I will be gone for a few hours, so I leave. I miss him, but I can’t get beyond the pain and betrayal.
I’m still in the house and slowly packing up his clutter that I was never allowed to touch. I’m lonely, but I’m enjoying my peace. We don’t communicate at all. My question is, do you think he is going to come walking back in like nothing happened? —I hope not! And if he did show up, why on Earth would you want him back? You are free. Consult an attorney, clear out the physical and emotional debris in your life and enjoy it.
Yesterday, I found out Dad tested positive for COVID and didn’t tell anyone until we were in the apartment, too. He put us all at risk. This kind of carelessness scares me about leaving Buster with him. Should I take him with us, or heed the advice about not stressing an older pet and leave him with dad? I will be heartbroken if I can’t take him. —If the advice about “stressing an older cat” came from a veterinarian, it merits consideration.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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