Dear Abby advises someone who found out a shocking family secret, a man in a relationship crisis, and a woman who is sick of rude comments about her appearance.
I had pretty much an ideal childhood. My parents have never had issues that I ever saw. We went to church every Sunday, gathered with family often, etc. I’m now grown, and my parents are in their mid-80s.
Out of the blue, I got a message on social media from a woman who says she’s my father’s daughter from when he was 17 years old, before he met my mom. She found out through DNA testing. She is very nice about whether I tell my parents about her. Their health is beginning to deteriorate, and I don’t want to stress them more than they can handle. At the same time, I don’t know if it is right for me to withhold this information from my dad.
Your father may be unaware that he fathered a child at 17. He should be given the information privately so he can decide if he would like to meet his daughter and whether, at this late date, your mother needs to know.My fiancee and I began dating 2 1/2 years ago. We are in our late 50s. We moved in together four months ago and took out an equity loan for improvements on the house. Until we moved in, we were planning our future together, traveling and having fun.
Two months later, she came to me saying “something is not right.” She says she loves me, she’s attracted to me and doesn’t want me to leave. She says I treat her like she’s never been treated before, and I’m so good to her . But I feel like I have been put into the friend zone. This usually happens after a couple of dates, not years. It’s tearing her up because she doesn’t want to feel this way, and it has me stumped about how to handle it. Is it cold feet? —can’t identify what’s “wrong” either.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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