Some people have ditched dating apps—and opted to bare their souls via a public, view-only link instead.
like a burp on a first date: a little awkward, potentially endearing, maybe a good story to tell later. Chris Olah, a neural network engineer for a company called AnthropicAI and a former Thiel Foundation fellow,on Wednesday, “Normal online dating seems pretty suboptimal. Recently, I’ve seen several people experiment with public ‘date me’ docs—I think this is a really interesting experiment in alternatives, enabling long-form, earnest dating profiles.
Olah is 29, with the grin and just-finished-hiking complexion of someone even younger. The title of his Google Doc gets right to the point: “Male, Straight, 5'7", Monogamous, Wants Kids.” His photos draw the eye, but it’s the sidebar that’s remarkable: Olah’s Date Me doc has four “chapters,” and 15 subcategories. This is where he lays it all out. He says he’s “dedicated to doing what he believes is morally right.” He’s politically moderate and geographically agnostic.
Olah declined to give an interview, saying he’s been caught off-guard by the amount of attention his Date Me doc has received. He’s not alone, though, in his decision to ditch dating apps and publish a public-facing document about his search for love instead. Proponents of the Date Me doc spurn Bumble, Hinge, and Tinder and lay themselves bare in Dropbox Paper, Google Docs, or personal websites built on WordPress and SquareSpace.
Not all Date Me docs are as long as Olah’s. A few are designed to be hyper-efficient. The writer and rationalist Jacob Falkovich has apage on his blog, which links to Google Forms for each category, so you can sign up to meet platonically or, you know, go on a date. Damon Sasi, a therapist and, like Falkovich, a rationalist, has even shared a link to a page withWhat do we talk about when we talk about Date Me docs, a kind of wiki to the human soul? On the one hand, none of this is new.
“Optimizing for partnership” is the phrase of Catherine Olsson, who happens to work with Olah at AnthropicAI. Last spring, Olsson quietly added a link to a Date Me doc in her Twitter bio. Olsson’s doc is less text-heavy, more photo-friendly than Olah’s tome. The 32-year-old writes that kids and monogamy are “preferred in the long run”; that she values close friends, playfulness, and emotional fluency; and that a friend describes her as an “overly-systematizing maternal Aragorn.
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