Crazy Mason’s milkshakes are as big as my head. I tried to eat one anyway.

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Crazy Mason’s milkshakes are as big as my head. I tried to eat one anyway.
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The Instagram-friendly milkshake franchise has a new location in Old Town Alexandria. But did the experience live up to the pictures?

The lure is the photos: thick milkshakes topped with whole slices of cheesecake, doughnuts, giant cookies, s’mores and even caramel apples. And, of course, sprinkles everywhere.But I was ready. Well, when I left the house that morning, I was ready. Then, as I approached the newly opened doors of the Crazy Mason Milkshake Bar in Alexandria, I grew antsy, as if the sugar rush had already hit me.

The Crazy Mason Milkshake Bar was opened this month by Robert and Erin Studer, who also operate an outpost of the franchise in Ellicott City. The couple fell in love with the concept of the restaurant — in which colossal shakes are served in Mason jars — during a 2021 visit to the flagship store in Myrtle Beach, S.C.

Armed with a straw and a spoon, my first thought — which I later heard uttered aloud by another patron — was, “How on earth do I start?” So I started with photos — the phone eats first, after all. Then I picked up my long-handled spoon and tasted the chocolate mousse.

As delicious as it was, and as much as I love chocolate, it was rich. I could’ve used some help from a friend. As a kid, I would have loved sharing this with a parent. As I sipped, I thought of the laundry list of loved ones who would enjoy this with me. But, like Bruce Bogtrotter, I was destined to consume my chocolate alone. Unlike poor Bruce, I had the liberty of putting my spoon down when my stomach reached capacity.

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