LAFAYETTE, IN—While describing the couple’s relationship as nothing short of perverse, sickening, and totally unnatural, reports confirmed Thursday that Daniel Bowman, a 25-year-old black man, and Jennifer Pines, a 24-year-old white woman, are in a way actually sort of beautiful together.
Recently spotted holding hands—and in public, for Christ’s sake—the unwholesome, sinful union of two incompatible races made for a sight that was reportedly repulsive and yet, at the same time, oddly endearing.“They seem so happy together,” said 31-year-old onlooker Christina Berg, who apparently doesn’t grasp the basic and undeniable truth that whites are supposed to be with whites, blacks with blacks, Asians with Asians, Mexicans with Mexicans, and so forth.
By conducting their completely inappropriate relationship in the open, Bowman and Pines have reportedly shamed both themselves and their families for five straight years, though sources noted itAdvertisement “There’s a pair of lovebirds if I’ve ever seen one,” Jeffrey Kopec, 43, said of the man and woman who appear to be a perfect match despite belonging to racial groups that were never meant to inhabit the same continent, let alone develop romantic ties. “They’ve just been talking and laughing nonstop. Reminds me of my wife and I when we were younger.”
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