Coming to terms with a diagnosis of breast cancer is an evolving process. Find out how a triple-negative breast cancer survivor was able to come to terms with her diagnosis even now after remission.
, I reread it. Again and again. I read all the words before it and after it. It wasn’t registering as something comprehensible. I couldn’t understand.
Even when my cancer center called me, confirming the results were mine, I didn’t identify the word cancer to be related to me. I attended a slew of appointments over the next week without ever uttering the word cancer. I could get myself to say it because it was not me. I told those closest to me when I managed to text the word cancer, the declaration followed by a simple but genuine request: “Do not call me, I don’t want to talk about it." I couldn't fathom saying the word out loud.
I had to make a distinction to myself that acceptance didn’t equal understanding or that I was content with having breast cancer. I could accept my diagnosis of cancer, a circumstance out of my control, and still be angry about it, hate it, and wish it didn’t happen. In fact, this enabled my fury at having been diagnosed with breast cancer, justified my fury, and then surprisingly, aided me through that fury.needed to happen now.
I often refer to my diagnosis of breast cancer as an unwelcome war. I most definitely did not choose to have breast cancer, but if it was going to be a part of my life, it was going to be on MY terms. I was clear about what I could and couldn’t control about my experience. I recognized factors out of my control, like the fact there were malignant cells multiplying obnoxiously in my breast. I also acknowledged that I was in control of my response to them.
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