For years I tried to cure my dysfunctional family with elaborate Thanksgiving dinners, until Thanksgiving became my own dysfunction.
Beginning two weeks before Thanksgiving, I avoid looking at, much less reading, all food sections. But this year, Thanksgiving, like everything, started early, mere days after Halloween, and with it all those “Here’s how to make Thanksgiving dinner without meat/outdoors/on the moon” pieces that inevitably have me reaching for the Xanax.
“I’ll just do it,” I said one year, echoing codependents throughout the ages. “It’ll be fun,” I said, unaware of the burden of self-appointed control and inevitable resentment I was shouldering, possibly forever. “Let me do it.” Because if it was cold, or the cream sauce was runny or the turkey was dry, then Mom would get mad, and the whole point was to keep that from happening.
When I had kids it began to make sense to alternate holiday dinners with family; as I was not about to give up Christmas dinner, which I truly love, I surrendered Thanksgiving. More than that, I began to see how much of my Thanksgiving cooking had been driven by anxiety and fear, a self-concocted need to please, appease and prove ... what? That I could do it? That I could do it anywhere and alone? That I didn’t need help, that success is measured by levels of exhaustion and the use of every pot, pan, dish and glass I own? That all this somehow proved something?
And I recognize now that as a child I believed that one Rockwellian moment could counterbalance all the messy dysfunction that came before and after, and I tasked myself with creating it.As an adult, I realize this kind of thinking is absurd, dangerous and damaging; the only control I have is over my own self, my expectations and the pressure I put on myself to meet them.
France Dernières Nouvelles, France Actualités
Similar News:Vous pouvez également lire des articles d'actualité similaires à celui-ci que nous avons collectés auprès d'autres sources d'information.
Why Adam Sandler Should Be a Serious Best Actor Contender for ‘Uncut Gems’ (Column)Adam Sandler is on a roll — that could send him all the way to the Oscars. Not only is he up for a Gotham Award for his work in “Uncut Gems,” but his performance also nabbed him an Indie Spirit Awa…
Lire la suite »
Why the Grammy’s Committee Voting System Needs an Overhaul (Column)“Committee” is a dirty word, or at least a subject for derisive humor, in most avenues of business. That’s proven true in the awards world, too, where much ire has been directed at the Grammys for …
Lire la suite »
Column: The cult of Trump faces the calm of Adam SchiffAdam Schiff is unflappable as he leads the impeachment inquiry into President Trump's alleged Ukraine misdeeds.
Lire la suite »
Column: Rams spiraling out of playoff contention with games vs. 49ers and Seahawks aheadThe Los Angeles Rams are 6-5 and still have to deal with the likes of the San Francisco 49ers, the Seattle Seahawks and the desperate Dallas Cowboys in coming weeks.
Lire la suite »
Column: These holiday scams are heavy on naughty, totally lacking in niceFrom gift-card rackets to online fraud, consumers are under near-constant assault amid what some analysts are calling the country's first-ever trillion-dollar holiday season.
Lire la suite »
Column: Ratifying the Equal Rights Amendment would help all kinds of Americans — including menPatt Morrison speaks to attorney Linda Coberly about what the effects of finally ratifying the Equal Rights Amendment would be.
Lire la suite »