Carrying the weight of two worlds

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Carrying the weight of two worlds
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Growing up as one of the few Asian kids in a town steeped in Revolutionary War history, I was always straddling two worlds, writes Gene Yu. West Point became my obsession, my ticket to shattering the stereotypes that confined me.

The author on a convoy movement with Filipino Light Reaction Regiment operators from Jolo Island to Luuk in southern Philippines in 2008.

When we moved to Cupertino, California, during my teenage years, I was surrounded by Asian faces for the first time. But even there, I felt just as unmoored. The relentless pressure to excel academically, to embody the perfect Asian kid, was suffocating. I rebelled, adopting a goth style and shoplifting constantly — a silent scream in a culture that prized conformity and quiet obedience.

The day I received my acceptance letter, my parents' reaction was a blend of disapproval and concern."You wouldn't use good iron to make nails," my father said, quoting an old Chinese proverb that suggested soldiering was a waste of talent. But I envisioned myself in training — the grueling drills, the crisp uniforms, the discipline — and I felt a pull that was deeper than mere ambition.

Even after West Point, as a Green Beret, I pushed myself to the limits of human endurance. And yet, even as I helped lead teams of America’s most cunning warriors in Iraq and the Philippines over four combat tours, there were still moments when I questioned if I truly belonged in this world of iron discipline and relentless grit. It wasn’t that others doubted me — at this level, everyone is tested. The real challenge was facing the doubts that crept up within me, in the quiet moments.

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