'The already confusing world has become more confusing to her. I stay on the other side of her living room and explain that there’s a virus going around, and that’s why I’m wearing a mask and gloves, and keeping my distance.'
My mother has always adored orchids. Every winter, when she traveled south to escape the New England cold, she bought them with abandon. Not only were the growing conditions perfect in Florida, the orchids were a steal, selling for less than half of what they cost in Massachusetts. My mother loved a bargain.
The problem came when it was time to go back to my mother’s home in the town of Orleans on Cape Cod. Which plants to bring and which to leave behind? She enjoyed the elaborate ritual of preparing her orchids for the journey: carefully staking and giving each plant a final spritz of water before wrapping it in newspaper, and separating one plant from the next with the cardboard innards of a wine case.
“Is there a reason we’re bringing this home?” I teased, holding the damp and smelly sponge by a corner over the garbage pail. She must be even more exhausted than I thought.She looked at me and said, with a sharpness that started me, “Yes! I want it. Put it right back in the box.” As her health continued to deteriorate and she was no longer able to drive or cook, caregivers became an inevitable part of her daily life, a reality that she took as an assault to her independence. No matter how kind they were, my mother found fault with them. From her perspective, they were strangers in her home, uninvited guests who offended her sensibilities by calling her “dearie,” or chewing gum , or returning a utensil to the wrong drawer. Plus, they were overwaterers.
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