In this edition of ‘Brooding’ Kathryn Jezer-Morton asks whether parents can prevent their sons from sliding politically to the right. Ultimately, no one should get canceled at the dinner table.
Recently, I walked into my kitchen and the morning light hit my stove’s greasy backsplash in just the right way to reveal a finger-traced drawing of a dick ’n’ balls spraying a few fingertip-dots of jizz. Who, I wondered, was the artist who chose my stove’s grease for their canvas? I asked both of, and they convincingly denied having done the doodle — I’m a connoisseur of their drawings, and, indeed, the style wasn’t one I recognized.
This did not come as a huge surprise to me or Gray. He teaches humanities at a local college, where I have taught too, and we’ve often talked about how tricky it can be to keep hetero boys involved in classroom debates. Many of these young men seem very anxious about saying the wrong thing, and will often refuse to participate, sometimes projecting a provocative kind of defensiveness that is its own argument.
Applied to people, it maps to feminism and its mirror, misogyny. Feminism feels unfair to these young men because it’s based on the premise that women started from a position of inferiority and now get to enjoy the glory of having beaten the odds. For young men to experience the same narrative of success, they feel they need to start from a position of disempowerment.
requires a light touch. It’s very easy, and very satisfying, to be doctrinaire — social media encourages and rewards it. I think many of us adults are so entrenched in social-media political discourse that it feels dangerously transgressive to allow a teen to articulate beliefs we disagree with at our dinner tables.
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