WASHINGTON—Despite numerous warnings to be gentle with the commander in chief’s fragile head, President Biden was declared dead Wednesday after an aide accidentally pressed the soft spot on top of his skull. “It is with a heavy heart that I inform you all that the president was pronounced dead shortly after an aide…
WASHINGTON—Despite numerous warnings to be gentle with the commander in chief’s fragile head, President Biden was declared dead Wednesday after an aide accidentally pressed the soft spot on top of his skull.
“It is with a heavy heart that I inform you all that the president was pronounced dead shortly after an aide pressed the delicate fontanel atop his head,” said White House press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre, explaining that the event occurred when the aide was trying to wipe applesauce out of Biden’s hair and pressed too hard on the area where his skull wasn’t yet fully formed.
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