Avicii's final journals reveal a superstar DJ haunted by demons: 'Those days in hospital were the most anxiety and stress-free days I can remember the past 6 years, those were my true vacations, as depressing as it might sound...'
. Just because an intervention had been staged and his son seemed to beat his addiction didn’t mean the worst was over, his father added.Avicii’s shocking death made international news. The Swedish DJ had been integral in ushering electronic dance music into the mainstream, bringing the genre to the masses alongside peers like Swedish House Mafia, Tiësto, David Guetta, and Calvin Harris.
But to be a successful and marketable DJ, there’s no room for shyness. Not only were you expected to develop a setlist of synthy and remixed tracks that would build the crowd up before dropping the bass to send them into a euphoric tizzy—you needed to be a presence on stage that would help sell out hundreds of venues a year.
“Have never had these kinds of problems before but I’m worried that my anxiety will increase when I get drunk and that I’ll feel like nothing matters and take my life or something.”Avicii: True Stories “Of course, I didn’t listen to the majority of the doctors, I listened to the couple who said it was ok if I was careful. I was ignorant and naive and touring the world, still on the never-ending tour – because once you’ve circled it once, guess what? You start right back over again.”
But Avicii declined the operation, insisting he would only do it once his schedule eased up. Again, he was prescribed painkillers to help manage any flare-ups. The cycle was repeated the next year, when he was hospitalized again with a ruptured appendix and had to go through with the gallbladder surgery.
Following a gig in Ibiza the following summer, his family and friends staged an intervention where Avicii was forced to face the truth. While in rehab, he came to the realization that he had latched onto drugs and alcohol as a coping mechanism for stress, anxiety, and depression. In the last two years of his life, Avicii seemed to be in a stable place, but bubbling beneath the surface were problems he had long tried to suppress. For starters, he became uninterested in the music he was making and producing, canceling meetings at the last minute with legendary producer Quincy Jones and passing on song demos that would eventually turn into massive hits for other artists.
In April 2018, Avicii agreed to travel with some friends to Oman, a country on the southeastern coast of the Arabian Peninsula. Excited about the trip and the peaceful locale, he messaged a friend a few days before the vacation about how he felt he had overcome some of his inner turmoil.
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