Dear Amy: I have a marriage question.
How can I encourage the same care and security internally?
Avoidance is a natural response to being continuously shut down, and so actually — you are giving him the “silent treatment,” but it is important for you to recognize that you do have a voice and have a right to use it. He walks five miles every day for exercise and perspires a great deal, but he doesn’t change his shirt.I’ve also reassured him that washing many shirts is no problem. I have requested directly that he change his shirt, and even handed him a clean shirt.Can you think of something more effective?Don’t you wonder why your husband has stopped showering? Have you asked him? Ignoring hygiene is sometimes a sign of depression, but he sounds like someone who is trying hard to take good care of himself.
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