Ask Amy: I struggle with a sense of responsibility toward my cruel birth mother

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Ask Amy: I struggle with a sense of responsibility toward my cruel birth mother
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My friends and family say I don’t owe her anything, but she’s my mother, she gave birth to me and although she’s never done anything for me it doesn’t seem to matter.

Thirty years later, I located my birth parents.In the years since reuniting, she has stolen from me, lied to me, and cut me with her cruelty.

My friends and family say that I don’t owe her anything, but she’s my mother, she gave birth to me and although she’s never done anything for me it doesn’t seem to matter. If I don’t help her, I feel guilty. If I do help her, I feel worthless and used.Please offer some of your guidance.DEAR BEWILDERED: I agree with your friends and family that you do not owe your birth mother anything – or much of anything.Do not give into your mother’s manipulations.

No, she cannot live with you. No, you cannot assume care for her in her home. But you may be able to ensure that she has a safe environment to live in. If she has no other family members, you might step up to be the contact person for her care facility.He informed us verbally before he died that the house is split evenly to each of us in thirds.

This important and challenging job can be overwhelming, and has reduced many a grieving person to become paralyzed.

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