Ask Amy: I’m petrified about how a transgender relative will be treated at family reunion

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Ask Amy: I’m petrified about how a transgender relative will be treated at family reunion
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To say my family is less than supportive is an understatement. Gay they’re okay with, but I guess trans is a bridge too far ...

DEAR AMY: Every year my extended family meets for a summer reunion.No one talked about it, it was just assumed he’d figure it out and it wouldn’t be a big deal.

Well, we were wrong. He’s not heterosexual but has decided he’s trans and now goes by the gender-neutral name “Ash.”To say my family is less than supportive is an understatement.Our annual get together is coming up and my plan is to wait and see how Ash refers to themself and take it from there.I’ve already told my sister to back off and follow Ash’s lead.

Speaking as an involved aunt, I believe that one advantage of this position in the family is that you have known the younger person’s parents since childhood. You can convey just enough familiarity to decode some family traits, and just enough distance to offer perspective and non-judgmental friendship.

If being kind, friendly, and compassionate toward a young family member is “stirring the pot” in your family, then Ash might be experiencing abuse – at home or elsewhere.

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