Ask Amy: I had no idea my husband wanted a divorce. What do I do now?

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Ask Amy: I had no idea my husband wanted a divorce. What do I do now?
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I returned from a family visit, and I found out he was leaving after 46 years.

This is … a truly terrible shock, and I am so sorry. You seem to be stepping into a new demographic of elders: those experiencing what is being called “gray divorce.”

Your husband has been deceiving you and has spent the last year strategizing and putting his plan firmly in place without giving you the benefit of any warning. That is both cowardly and brazen. It would be a big help if you could confide in savvy and stalwart friends or family members. You need people who will not add to the drama, but be a sounding board for you.

I have no wife, kids or pets. I try to help others and volunteer monthly. I also support charities through financial giving.

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